One of my top five least favorite things in the world? Having my hair washed at a salon. Torture. Waterboarding masqueraded as luxury. Sitting there with your neck craned back, positive that your face looks all sorts of unattractive as you wonder whether opening your eyes will make everything ten times more awkward, or if it’s rude to keep them closed, while small sudsy streams snake down into your ears. In those moments I could truly crawl out of my body.